I strongly believe that the interaction girls have with their fathers or men in general affect their future relationships with men. I'm no Oprah, relationship expert, or psychologist/psychiatrist but I learned a lot from other's interations and my own.
I noticed that women that did not grow up with a father tend to be loose, those who do not have a good relationship with their father have trouble trusting men, and other things that as you grow up you realize is just common sense. However, that is not true for all females. All behaviors are not subject to just one concept. What is true for you, may not be true for most and what's common, may not apply to you.
I know some females, who didn't have a daddy growing up; have loving, strong relationships with men. And women who are so close to their fathers, daddy's girl, who cannot maintain a relationship with men and are not selective with entry, if you know what I mean.
I, myself, had trouble having a good relationship with men or any relationship by that means. I live with both my parents, they have been married for over 25 years, and I am around my father more than my mother. However, I wouldn't trust my father farther than I can throw him and I have more respect for my mother than my father. My father was very abusive towards my brother and I growing up and he would rather take money from us than give it. It is more than evident that if he had the choice, he would of never had kids. I don't think my father hates us, but I feel like we're viewed more as a burden rather than a gift. I strongly believe that my view of my father and other men in my family, which is the only interaction I consistenly have with the opposite sex affects my relationship with men.
Most men in my family do not work or hardly work and depend on their wife to take care of them. I am not sure if it's my culture but I really don't want to excuse their behavior with that reasoning. Be a man, be the head of the household. It's shameful, if you do otherwise.
I also have had numerous nightmares of getting raped, it's been going on for years. I do not know if it stems from all the lifetime movies I watched growing up or some traumatic experience I could have experienced in the past but I can't recall now that I'm older, I have no idea. But I do know that I have had trouble being alone with men around my age in the same room. This year was the first time, I have been comfortable being alone in a room with a man I am not related to. Yup, I have issues, especially with trust.
So, how do I fix it?
I need to change my thinking. I need to accept that I have interaction issues with men. I need to know that I can change it. I will prove to myself that I will have great relationships with men. After changing my mindset, I need to put my thoughts into action by treating men with love and respect and disprove my first theory that #niggasaintshit. I realized this, so I have been letting my negative feelings towards men subside and allowing new feelings to form by engaging in meaningful relationships (friends or dating).
It's true, all men are not the same and there are many men out there that do handle their responsibilities and can be loving and respectful---yes, all those features in one.
Do you have daddy issues? Do they affect your relationships? Will you join me in letting go of your preconceived notions about men?
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