I had a plan for myself. I thought that I would be married and happy and lovingly welcome my baby into this world at about 25. Things changed for me early on. I joined the military and life seemed just a little harder to get to what we all think "normal" is. The guy that I loved from adolescence to adulthood all of a sudden was no longer a part of my everyday life. I felt that I needed to grieve a loss but had no time to do so because life got in the way. My first relationship outside of my high school boyfriend and I find myself twenty years old and pregnant. All the things that I thought would never happen to me started to happen back to back. And there I was twenty and a single mom and not knowing how to cope.
Not to mention I wanted to do what was best for my baby girl. Stay in a loveless relationship or find happiness for myself and hope my daughter recognizes that when she grows up? So I got out. I ran and never looked back. Although I knew I was making the right decision it did not make me feel any better to think that my daughter would ultimately grow up without her father. I started to live and make decisions for me and my baby. But we are all human and we all have our faults. So a few years later I find myself 23 and a single parent of two baby girls.
I will never regret my decisions, they make me who I am. I know that I am stronger because of my decisions whether they be good or bad. When things get really tough I look in my baby girl's faces. I realize that unconditional LOVE that I have heard about, read about, listened to people cry about, was there right in front of me. I may be single for a long time but I know that my kids love me more than any companion could ever. So my road to marriage and love has not ended but I am no prisoner to it either. Still learning and loving all the same.